Mindfulleigh Mental

I can write with confidence that there are a minimal-ISH amount of people I’ve ghosted in my lifetime. Mutual seasons of long term disconnection? YesLEIGH. Impromptu retirement of being the primary initiator? MostLEIGH. I would say from the age of 6 (likely even sooner) I was mostly “heavenbent” on living a life protesting the generational trauma I’ve inherited (of course, like most of us, heal as I might, the generational trauma continues to influence me in sometimes subtle and sometimes glaring ways). Still, I have chose to have a “closure conversation” albeit an imperfect one at times, with almost everyone I’ve crossed paths with, even if that closure conversation was me communicating my uncertainty of whether I wanted to continue being directly relationally connected. Essentially, there was more often than not, a prologue of a closure conversation that expressed my indecisiveness around continuing a familial, platonic, or romantic relationship *even though I personally feel closure is usually an internal process*. There is a rare occurrence I can think of where the prologue of a closure conversation did not take place, and I have been and will continue to be sorry for that. To choose NOT be connected to someone, feels antithetical to most of who I am, because at the core of my heart is an ability to see a person for the entirety of who they are. My God and I also have been aware of the entire spectrum of who I am, almost my whole life, and that includes the past versions of me I feel ashamed of. Often what has led me to choose not to be connected to someone has been when I witness an ongoing incongruence (which may not even be the current reality at this point in time because SOMETIMES we do change). It isn’t because I perceive myself as someone who has not engaged in similar behaviors, it is because I am consistently working on outgrowing my past selves. I am learning to accept that no matter how in depth I explain who I am, sometimes the message will get lost in translation, though I can only seem to explain less… so it seems there will be a mocktail of explanation AND reputation. In conclusion-ISH, while “on virtual paper” I have ghosted-ISH a minimal-ISH amount of people, my semi-sassy-sAshleigh response is… at this point the ghosting has ghone both ways, and this is my “virtual apricot branch” for a “closure conversation” if chosen.